Thanksgiving: A Time to Be Thankful, Even in the NICU

As promised, a link to the new article from the Type A Mom site, on Giving Thanks Even when Thanksgiving is in the NICU.

In the article you will find a number of ways that generous people are helping NICU parents to be able to give thanks, even in the NICU. I've shared a couple already in previous posts this week.

Some of my favorites are the creative ways that people are helping NICU Parents to cope.

Earlier this month, The Preemie Clothes Guide posted Patterns and Ideas for Thanksgiving Preemie Blankets with links to different blanket patterns plus with suggestions for ways to modify the patterns to create special Thanksgiving preemie blankets.

Respiratory Therapist, Glenna Muse post of the 2009 Official Thanksgiving Turkey Hat was my inspiration to find the many ways that people are helping NICU parents to give thanks. She knits out of love for these little babies and shares why she is Thankful this Thanksgiving.

Those babies and these hats make me joyous. It's that simple. Every time I hold a three pound baby and every time I plop one of my silly little hats onto one of those tiny little heads I see God in their eyes and for those moments I am a mountain of faith that the world is a wondrous place and we are blessed to be here, all connected as one big family on Earth.

On this Thanksgiving I am thankful for all of our little miracles and that I am so lucky to play a part, through respiratory therapy and by knitting hats, in their first days in this life.

I will be posting a blog next year about Glenna Muse's efforts on Knitting in the NICU.

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A related article is on the Type-A Mom site under the NICU section of Mom Stages.


More

Dyer KA. 2009. Giving Thanks Even when Thanksgiving is in the NICU. Type A Mom.
Dyer KA. 2009. Encouraging Message: The Full, True Thanksgiving Comes from the Heart. NICU Parent Support Blog.
Dyer KA. 2009. Being Thankful at Thanksgiving in the NICU. NICU Parent Support Blog.

Image: Glenna Muse. 2009 Official NICU Thanksgiving Mascot Turkey Hat. Used with Permission.

Creatively Coping: Knit a Heart Pin or Pins

I discovered a very cute and easy pattern available online for knitting little hearts.

I realize that knitting little hearts would be a great way making quick thank you gifts for NICU nurses.

The hearts could be turned into pins, used as decorations on packages or even a mobile for your NICU baby. Keeping idle hands busy and knitting is one of the ways that a NICU parent (or grandparent) can TAKE CARE to get through the NICU adventure.

This pattern is a really easy way to use up yarn leftovers as can be seen in this blog post on closely knit, love letter in yarn.

The Heart Pin pattern is available from Hannah Fettig of knitbot. It is one of the patterns available in her book, Closely Knit: Handmade Gifts For The Ones You Love, her beautiful collection of handmade gifts for your loved ones.

Pattern: Hannah Fetting. Heart Pin Pattern From Closely Knit. Knitbot.

Image: Adapted from Marieke Kuijjer. Knitted Heart. Creative Commons License.

Calvin's Hats - From One Angel to Another

A message tonight in my email box touched my heart and lead to the creation of a new lens on Squidoo. I had just recently updated the Bereavement Photography lens, so I have been writing about resources for parents coping with the death of a child.

This lens is dedicated to the loving, healing project that is Calvin's Hats, a volunteer project hand-knitting tiny hats for babies who are born to early to survive.

Healing from Loss
Calvin's Hats was created in loving memory of Calvin John by his parents Jenna and John to help bring grieving parents a small amount of healing, comfort, and peace during their time of tremendous loss.

Jenna and John share some of the reasons for creating Calvin's Hats on their website:

We are offering to grieving parents a gift which can bring a small amount of comfort and peace... a hat tiny enough to fit right on their precious child's head and something to hold on to when their child is no longer here.

Our wish is for these hats to bring a small amount of healing.

Annie, their volunteer coordinator, wanted to know if I might "be able to help pass it on to those who might find it helpful. Our goal is simply to bless families and we'll do whatever it takes to get the word out there so we can make that happen."

Thus was born the Calvin's Hats Squidoo lens and this blog post.

I hope both help to get the word out to those knitters and volunteers who may be moved to donate their time, their skills and their resources to help in creating these healing hats.

I also hope posting about it helps parents grieving the loss of their newborn to find out about this healing resource and experience a small amount of comfort knowing the gift given was inspired by parents who had also experience the loss of a newborn.

Creatively Coping with NICU Journals, Diaries and Scrapbook

Three different resources have been created to help NICU Parents in keeping track of their baby's NICU experience are My NICU Journal, the NICU Diary® and Tiny Steps - My Journey Through the NICU Scrapbook.

My NICU Journal
NICU Nurse, Shelley Stevenson, RNC developed My NICU Journal as a useful product for parents of preemies and NICU nurses.

According to the Hearthworks website:

My NICU Journal is a book created to help parents record the milestones their preemie accomplishes as he or she improves and grows in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, creating a keepsake for parents to look back upon later.

The book is 30 pages, measures 8½" X 5½" with color illustrations. My NICU Journal is available with pink, blue, yellow or green covers for $9.95 each.

My NICU Journal is available online or by mail at the Hearthworks website.

NICU Diary®
The NICU Diary®: A journal for preemie babies was designed especially for moms and dads who have babies in the NICU or Special Care Nursery.

The NICU Diary® is available for purchase at the Preemie Store and More. According to their description:

The NICU Diary® gives you places to write weight gains, feeding changes, tests, oxygen needs and much more. You even have your own space for thoughts, feelings, and little notes.

The NICU diary® records your baby's special start in life and gives you a treasured keepsake for years to come. It includes two detailed pages for each of 45 days and extra pages for photos and to record for "baby's first." Priced at $9.95 each.

The NICU Diary also includes a gram conversion chart and a page to graph weekly progress.

Tiny Steps - My Journey through the NICU Scrapbook
Tiny Steps is a scrapbook to record your baby's journey through the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) and was created by Esther Thomas, a nurse with 18 years of experience in the NICU.

The Tiny Steps NICU Scrapbook is available at the Preemie Store and More. According to their description:

Every page of The Tiny Steps NICU Scrapbook is filled with bright and colorful art, lots of space for special photos of your baby, family members, and hospital staff.

Plenty of space is also provided for writing notes, recording daily experiences, thoughts, precious moments, and those one-of-a-kind expressions that only newborns make.

Priced at $ 24.95.

The Tiny Steps NICU Scrapbook Contents:
* An easy to understand vocabulary list of the most commonly used medical terms in the NICU.
* Inspirational Bible verses, song passages, and humorous phrases to help you get through some of the more difficult days in the nursery.
* 90 daily entries that allow you to write your thoughts, and keep track of your baby's progress.
* A special pocket envelope to save tiny mementos.

Since these products were designed for Preemies, they wouldn't have worked well with our daughter's case, being a 'Sick Newborn.'

I probably would have used one of the free resources available, like the NICU Parent Diary from Cedars-Sinai's Good Beginnings.

More about Journaling in the NICU
Dyer K. 2009. Benefits of Keeping a NICU Journal. NICU Parent Support Blog.
Dyer K. 2009. The Importance of Telling the NICU Story. NICU Parent Support Blog.
Dyer KA. 2009. Free NICU Journaling - NICU Diary Resources Available for NICU Parents. NICU Parent Support Blog.

Light a Candle for Hope or in Memory Online

Our brightest blazes of gladness are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks.

Samuel Johnson

For centuries people around the world have burned candles to bring hope for the future, to aid in healing and in memory of loved ones who have died.

In many different traditions and religions candle lighting is often used in sacred rituals as part of a prayer or blessing.

Lighting a candle is a good way for NICU Parents to feel as though they are doing something when their baby is in the hospital and find a moment of unexpected gladness.

Candles are lit for hope when someone is ill, for peace during wartime or for luck when facing challenges. Candles are lit as part of a prayer. Candles are also lit as a meaningful way to honor the memory of a loved one who has died.

Benefits of Lighting a Candle
I will often light a favorite candle and just sit, watch the hypnotic flames and thing about Chandogya Upanishad's quote that

There is a light that shines
beyond all things on earth,
beyond us all, beyond the heavens.
This is the light that shines in our hearts.

During times of challenging or times of sorrow, lighting a candle can give you something to do, a way of focusing your thoughts, intention or prayers on a problem or a person. Stopping to light a candle helps me to reconnect with the light that shines in our heart which is sometimes dimmed during times of challenge.

Lighting a candle can be used as a meditative tool. The simple ritual of lighting a candle and watching the hypnotic flickering flame is calming and relaxing. There is a soothing, healing effect in lighting a candle and watching the light emerge from the darkness.

Light a Candle Online
The Gratefulness.org website provides one of the most popular online websites for lighting a candle.

Visitors to the Gratefulness.org site can light a virtual candle for whatever reason they choose--to honor the birth of a baby, to celebrate a birthday or in memory of someone who has died. It is a place you can light a candle for hope or in memory of your NICU baby.

The first candles were lit on the Gratefulness.org site in May 2001. Since then more than 7,000,000 candles have been lit from people in 242 countries.

More about Lighting a Candle
Dyer K. 2008. Create a Candle Lighting Ceremony: Candles Can Help to Focus, Reduce Stress or Remember a Loved. Suite 101.
Dyer K. 2000. Light a Candle for Hope in the New Year. Journey of Hearts.

Image: Gratefulness.org.

Creatively Coping: Write a Prayer Poem

While I was in medical school, residency and clinical practice I wrote and used poetry to help friends, family, patients and colleagues deal with the pain from losses and aid in their grieving.

Poetry Therapy aided my own healing. I then shared my poems with others to help with theirs.

Poetry was an integral part of the healing portion of the Journey of Hearts website established to help anyone grieving a loss. Over the years my healing poems have been used as part of funeral, memorial and remembrance services, published as memorials in newspapers and yearbooks and sent as e-mail condolences.

I was fortunate enough 10 years ago to take a course with Poetry Therapist, John Fox on "Forming Community and Revealing Uniqueness Through Poem-Making" as a course from the National Foundation of Integrative Medicine.

John has gone on to become a leader in the movement of poetry therapy as an expressive art and in particular, the use of poetry in medicine. When I read this exercise on using Prayer Poems, I knew it could be a useful exercise to help NICU Parents cope with the NICU experience.

Write a Prayer Poem
John starts with a definition of prayer and writes that:

Prayer is a way to communicate with the Divine. Prayer [also] is a way to love the spirit of whatever is dear to you. Prayer is a way to let your heart cry out. Prayer is a way to come exactly as you are to the Unknown, the mystery of it all. Bring to your prayer what is raw, what is sublime.

Prayer is a way to welcome a wider vision of life for you.

He then goes on to pose a series of questions, starting with a poetic line, "Prayer is words strung like beads on the thread of your silence."

• Are you aware of the silence that your prayer words join with?
  
• What fertile silence do you long to enter?
  
• How does this kind of silence effect your world?
• How does divine guidance respond to your plea for help?
  
• Who reaches your heart in those times when no one else can?
  

Finally John encourages people to write a prayer of your own.

This exercise of writing a Prayer Poem could be useful ones for NICU Parents struggling with issues of faith and they try to understand the reasons behind why their newborn is in the Intensive Care Unit.

A Special Healing Blessing
Even though John and I were not in touch at the time of my daughter's NICU adventures, I am sure that his exercise of Prayer Poems would have been a helpful way for me to creatively coping during our time in the NICU.

On my own I did created our own version of a Prayer Poem by writing a Healing Blessing. This Special Healing Blessing was placed over our daughters isolette until she was discharged. Copies were gifted to the NICU on her discharge.

Source:
Fox. J. Poetic Medicine Bag: Exercise 3: Prayer Poems. The Institute for Poetic Medicine.

Images: Elena Buetler. Writing. Royalty Free Use.
Kirsti A. Dyer MD, MS. NICU Blessing. Some Rights Reserved.

Creatively Coping: Fabric Keepsake Memory Envelope

Newborns in Need, an charity organization that serves the needs of newborns and Laurie Anderson of Southern Stitches and offer another beautiful, healing idea for NICU Parents who have lost a newborn.

Fabric Memory Envelopes are keepsakes given to the grieving family after the loss of their baby.

These keepsake envelope, lovingly stitched by generous hearts gives the family something they will always have as a part of their baby.

Smaller Memory Envelopes are used with to hold all of the precious keepsakes that the mother and baby received while in the hospital.

The version used by the Columbia Chapter of Threads of Love includes a Recognition of Life Certificate where a picture of the baby can be included if desired. A special prayer is included for the family on the certificate.

With larger Memory Envelopes NICU staff can tuck inside the clothing that the baby had worn, the memory blanket the mother had held the baby in, a photograph of the baby, the birth certificate or even a lock of the baby’s hair.

A Fabric Memory Envelope is a heart-felt way to help Grieving NICU Parents cope with the loss of a child. Creative family and friends may want to craft their own special Keepsake Envelopes as a memorable gift to a bereaved NICU parent.

Note:
The Southern Stitches preemie patterns are to be used only for charity sewing for preemies, no sales are allowed. The designs and instructions themselves are copyrighted and all rights remain with Laurie Anderson/Southern Stitches.

The Newborns in Need Sewing patterns have been provided by Newborns in Need volunteers. While you may use them for charitable purposes, please respect copyright laws and do not sell these patterns or items made from these patterns. They are intended to be made and given free of charge to needy babies and their families.

Remember these designs are for charity use only. No sales are allowed.

Pattern Sources:
Anderson L. Fabric Memory Envelope. Threads of Love. Southern Stitches.
Recognition of Life Certificate. Threads of Love. Columbia, TN Chapter.
Eldridge P. Memory Envelope Version 1. Newborns in Need.
Thor R. Memory Envelope Version 2. Newborns in Need.
Vanspeybroeck A. Memory Envelope Version 3. Newborns in Need.

Creatively Coping: Preemie Prayer Pockets

Laurie Anderson of Southern Stitches has created a beautiful idea for NICU Parents and their family and friends. You can create a Preemie Prayer Pocket as a gift for parents, family, friends and nurses to wear and think about your baby or other NICU babies. It is a wonderful idea of creatively coping with the NICU.

Preemie Prayer Pocket
The tiny footprints on the design were taken from a 14-week old baby weighing 3 oz. You can download the instructions on her website. Follow the directions to create the pocket, enclose the preemie prayer, or any other message.

To simply attach a pin to the back for wearing, or use baby diaper pins if you want something more decorative.

The Prayer for the Preemie Pocket
Preemie Prayer Pockets have an prayer enclosed within the pocket.

Prayer for the Prayer Pocket

If you have worries, fears and tears
for this tiny baby, held so dear,
just tuck them in this little heart…
Angels will take them to God above
and He will comfort you with His healing love.
When you come back later and peek inside.
You will see there's nothing left to hide…
for God's love will forever abide.

Once you get the Preemie Pocket Prayer, you can write down your own concerns and stick them in the pocket.

Note:
The preemie patterns are to be used only for charity sewing for preemies, no sales are allowed. The designs and instructions themselves are copyrighted and all rights remain with Laurie Anderson/Southern Stitches

Designs © Laurie Anderson, Southern Stitches. The designs are for charity use only. No sales are allowed.

Source:
Anderson L. Preemie Prayer Pockets. Threads of Love. Southern Stitches. http://www.southern-stitches.com/preemie.html

Other Resources on Prayer Pockets:
Prayer Pockets. Forum. Martha Pullen.com. Sewing Made Easy.
http://forums.marthapullen.com/read.php?f=10&i=1704&t=1313