NICU Parent Support Blog: Bereavement

Showing posts with label Bereavement. Show all posts

Saturday, October 11, 2008

From the Heart of a Parent - Bereavement Photography for Grieving NICU Parents

A very special group of volunteer photographers help provide a priceless gift to grieving NICU parents, that of documenting their baby's brief life through something called Bereavement Photography.

In this video clip bereaved parents share their experiences with infant loss and with benefiting from the donated services of the NILMDTS (Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep) remembrance photographers.

About Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation
The Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation (NILMDTS) administers a network of almost 7,000 volunteer photographers in the United States and twenty-five countries. At a family's request, a NILMDTS Affiliated Photographer will come to your hospital or hospice location and conduct a sensitive and private portrait session.

The portraits are then professionally retouched and presented to the families on an archival DVD or CD that can be used to print portraits of their cherished baby.

More:
Dyer K. 2008. Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep (Bereavement Photography) on NBC's Today Show. NICU Parent Support Blog.
Dyer K. 2007-8. Bereavement Photography. Squidoo.com

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Todd Hochberg - Touching Souls with Bereavement Photography

As parents move through grief they also may struggle with holding on to memories and feelings about this short time with their baby, in the extreme some may wonder if their baby ever was.

Todd Hochberg

Bereavement Photography helps to ease the grief of losing a baby by documenting the presences of that child in their lives.

This video segment aired on the Chicago Tonight program on WTTW, PBS in Chicago showing how Todd Hochberg's stunning and intimate photographs help grieving families heal.

You can find out more about Bereavement Photography at the Squidoo Lens that I developed on the subject or by reading more of the posts on Bereavement Photography included on the NICU Parent Support Site.

More:
Dyer K. 2007-8. Bereavement Photography. Squidoo.com

Monday, March 31, 2008

Comforting Message: The Preemie Prayer

I found this preemie prayer, searching for prayers that would work for premature babies.

According to the blog entery, Preemie Prayer Revisited on her Preemies then Twins Blog by Sadye Spirit, this prayer was posted above the sinks where NICU Parents, families and staff scrubbed in at the Progressive NICU in the hospital her preemie twins stayed. The poem has brought many a NICU parent to tears.

The Preemie Prayer

Dear God, as you look down upon us,
We know that you might have to squint.
We're located here in the NICU
It's the nursery that we rent.

There are many alarms and sirens,
Connected to condos and flats.
The nurses tape our booties on,
And dress us in funny hats.

We have a lot in common;
All of us were in a hurry.
For many different reasons,
Our storks came a little early.

Some of us don't know why,
We bursted out from our bubbles.
We entered into this world,
Never meaning to cause any troubles.

Mommy and Daddy are worried sick
About the odds that we must beat.
Please God, help them to realize,
That seeing us grow is a treat.

Breath by breath, we'll learn to breathe.
Ounce by ounce we'll tip the scale.
We're like a boat in the ocean,
That knows not sink- only sail.

For we are living miracles,
Mommy and Daddy must simply believe,
That you have angels watching over us;
From the time we arrive, till the time we leave.

Author Unknown

If anyone knows the author of this poem, let me know so I can give him or her proper credits.

Another Preemie Prayer:
You can read another prayer for a Premature Baby at the Our Kids site. A short excerpt is below:

God bless the little child behind the plastic wall
For all he knows is the ringing of the bells and
the blurred images around him.
He has been taken from my womb without warning
and I long to hold him in my arms.

Author Unknown. Premature Baby Prayer. Our Kids.

This prayer is being republished on the anniversary of the day that my youngest was transferred to the higher level NICU.

Images:
Abcdz2000. Praying. Royalty Free Use.
Ensignmedia. Carissa Prayer. Morguefile Free License.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep (Bereavement Photography) on NBC's Today Show

The Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation is there for parents and families to help aid them in their Healing, bring Hope to their future, and Honor to their child.

It is through Remembrance that a family can truly begin to heal.

NILMDTS Foundation

In March 2008, the Today Show featured an episode on Bereavement Photography, photographing the end of a newborn's or child's life.

Learn more about these very special photographers who are able to bring comfort to parents at the end of a child's life by taking permanent reminders of a life.

About Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation
The Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation (NILMDTS) administers a network of almost 7,000 volunteer photographers in the United States and twenty-five countries. At a family's request, a NILMDTS Affiliated Photographer will come to your hospital or hospice location and conduct a sensitive and private portrait session.

The portraits are then professionally retouched and presented to the families on an archival DVD or CD that can be used to print portraits of their cherished baby.

You can find out more about Bereavement Photography at the Squidoo Lens that I developed on the subject.

More:
Dyer K. 2007-8. Bereavement Photography. Squidoo.com

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Creating Memories of a Dying Baby For Parents Through Photography

The images serve as touchstones for feelings and memories pertaining to deep significant relationships and spiritual connections some of which may flourish in the intimacy of the last days or months of life.
Todd Hochberg

Bereavement Photography
To those unfamiliar with the topic, Bereavement Photography may seem a bit unusual to say the least.

For the parents who have been the recipients of the photographic memories captured by volunteer photographers, bereavement photography is a priceless gift, documenting the often all to brief life of their baby.

The Healing Benefits of Bereavement Photography
There is a strong healing aspect to bereavement photograph. Todd Hochberg of Touching Souls shares how photographs help parents with their grieving process in an article originally published in Share.

Photographs help NICU parents by:

Making their baby's life and death real for the parents. Making the life real is a significant issue with brief perinatal lives.
Validating the parents feelings, both at the time of their baby's death and up to the present.
Being an affirmation of parenthood, a reminder that there was a child that they were a parent to.
Providing a tangible record of their time with their baby. The photographs often include cherished close up details of their baby's physical features and evidence of loving familial bonds.
Allowing them to connect with the many feelings and memories that may have gotten lost in the torrent of overwhelming grief at the time or in the weeks since.

Todd feels that offering parents an illustrated narrative of "their story" for themselves and the loved ones they choose to share it with, helps to fostering greater social support and connection, which also aids in the grieving process.

Photographers Offering Bereavement Photography Services

Touching Souls - Healing with Bereavement Photography
Photographer Todd Hochberg of Touching Souls has supported parents experiencing perinatal loss, as they say goodbye to their babies, since 1997. The photographs of babies with their grieving parents are available as valuable emotional mementos for families in Chicago.

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep (NILMDTS)
Now I lay Me Down To Sleep (NILMDTS) is a non-profit organization devoted to offering gentle and beautiful photography and videography services. Their services are available to all parents experiencing the death of a baby. There are no fees for creating these photographic memories.

I Say My Prayers

I Say My Prayers involves taking pictures of terminally ill children, individually and/or with their families. The child may be a newborn who will never leave the hospital or it may be a teenager. I will capture the "spirit" and the "life" of the child for the families to hold on to forever. The sitting and the pictures are donated by me to the families.

Bereavement Photography helps to ease the parents grief by creating memories that will last a lifetime for these grieving parents. The photographs help them to hold on to memories and document the life of their baby.

Resources:
Dyer K. 2007-8. Bereavement Photography. Squidoo.com
Hochberg T. In Your Eyes; The Caregiver and Bereavement Photography. Share. 2003.

Image: Nic Luc. Old Photo Lens. Royalty Free Use.

Monday, July 16, 2007

7/16 - Comforting Moment - Death does not end the Relationship

The recent thoughts regarding death and bereavement have shifted. In the past death was viewed as something one needs to "let go of" and "get over" in order to move on with life.

More recently, experts have come to realize as in the quote below, that death may end a life, but it does not end the relationship.

Death ends a life, not a relationship. One of the real challenges at this time of bereavement is to create a new relationship with your loved one without a physical presence.

You face the task of creating that new relationship, one of heart, mind and spirit.
Incorporating your loved one’s values and passions into your own life and passing them on to others will create a living memorial that will keep alive the essence of your loved one and bring you comfort.

Playwright Robert Anderson
Tuesdays with Morrie

Many people find ways, often creative, to keep the memory of a loved one alive as a source of comfort. This article that I published several years ago includes some of the many ways of coping: