Comforting Message: A Prayer from the NICU

Tara, a former NICU parent contacted me after reading the NICU Parent Support Blog and asked if I would be interested in sharing the prayer poem that she wrote about the N.I.C.U.

She wrote the poem for a friend when her friend's child was in the NICU several years ago. She had already lived through her own experience of having twins in the NICU.

A Prayer from the N.I.C.U.
by Tara Roper

Dear God,
I have a request to make.
Just a moment of your time it will take.
You see, my parents, are heartbroken and sad,
and they have prayed to you with all they had.

Could you just hug them and remind them you care,
as they are wishing I was at home, not here.
This time is confusing, unlike how they pictured it would be,
But I want them to know that you take care of me.

Although I am sleeping in this little bed,
and I am often too tired to raise my little head,
please remind them that I know they did their very best.
And that at night I am protected as I sleep upon your chest.

They think I am so lonely when they are away,
and if I could tell them, I would say

I know this is hard, and God understands,
But just know He has never let go of my hand.
He is always with me, like He is with you,
and all this has a purpose too.

And God, while I am in this temporary N.I.C.U. home,
I just want them to know I have never been alone.

Source: Roper T. A Prayer for the N.I.C.U. FaithWriters.com. Reprinted with Permission.

About the Author
Tara Roper is a 34 year old mom of three in the Atlanta area. Her daughter Caroline is five years old , and her twins, Maggie and Jacob are almost three years old. She and her husband John have lived in the Atlanta area and Boston area in the last ten years. Tara has been the editor of local parenting newsletters and writes on Faithwriters.com. Tara is the Assistant Coordinator for The Women's League Inc. for Northstar Church. Tara is currently taking time off from being a special education teacher to be at home with her children.

You can contact her through Faith Writers.

More Prayers

Dyer KA. 2008. The Preemie Prayer. NICU Parent Support Blog.
Dyer KA. 2007. Creatively Coping: Write a Prayer Poem. NICU Parent Support Blog.
Dyer KA. 2007. Creatively Coping: Preemie Prayer Pockets. NICU Parent Support Blog.
Dyer KA. 2007. Preemie Prayer for Sylas Christopher, the Remaining Morrison Sextuplet & Siblings. NICU Parent Support Blog.

Image: Aparecida B. Souza. Little Angel. Royalty Free Use.

Comforting Message: The Preemie Prayer

I found this preemie prayer, searching for prayers that would work for premature babies.

According to the blog entery, Preemie Prayer Revisited on her Preemies then Twins Blog by Sadye Spirit, this prayer was posted above the sinks where NICU Parents, families and staff scrubbed in at the Progressive NICU in the hospital her preemie twins stayed. The poem has brought many a NICU parent to tears.

The Preemie Prayer

Dear God, as you look down upon us,
We know that you might have to squint.
We're located here in the NICU
It's the nursery that we rent.

There are many alarms and sirens,
Connected to condos and flats.
The nurses tape our booties on,
And dress us in funny hats.

We have a lot in common;
All of us were in a hurry.
For many different reasons,
Our storks came a little early.

Some of us don't know why,
We bursted out from our bubbles.
We entered into this world,
Never meaning to cause any troubles.

Mommy and Daddy are worried sick
About the odds that we must beat.
Please God, help them to realize,
That seeing us grow is a treat.

Breath by breath, we'll learn to breathe.
Ounce by ounce we'll tip the scale.
We're like a boat in the ocean,
That knows not sink- only sail.

For we are living miracles,
Mommy and Daddy must simply believe,
That you have angels watching over us;
From the time we arrive, till the time we leave.

Author Unknown

If anyone knows the author of this poem, let me know so I can give him or her proper credits.



Another Preemie Prayer:
You can read another prayer for a Premature Baby at the Our Kids site. A short excerpt is below:

God bless the little child behind the plastic wall
For all he knows is the ringing of the bells and
the blurred images around him.
He has been taken from my womb without warning
and I long to hold him in my arms.

Author Unknown. Premature Baby Prayer. Our Kids.

This prayer is being republished on the anniversary of the day that my youngest was transferred to the higher level NICU.

Images:
Abcdz2000. Praying. Royalty Free Use.
Ensignmedia. Carissa Prayer. Morguefile Free License.

Creating a Circle of Healing and Support

I have long held the belief, both personally and professionally, that there is a healing power in holding a person in one's thoughts whether you are saying prayers or giving blessings or lighting candles. This belief in holding a person in your thoughts are the same beliefs echoed by Dr. Jim Reeves, the urologist who treated Cancer Survivor, Lance Armstrong.

There is an ancient Chinese belief
that when a person is held
in the hearts and minds and souls
of so many other people,
they can do better.

One of the greatest difficulties for me as a NICU parent, who was also used to being a physician, was the overwhelming feeling that there wasn't anything I could do for my daughter. I had to step back and turn over all of the care to those who understood the NICU technology and could help her medically to heal.

I decided to change my feeling of helplessness by taking a more active role in her care. We created a Circle of Healing to have friends and family hold her 'in their hearts and minds and souls...so she could do better.'

Our Circle of Healing for My Youngest Daughter
Within days after the birth of my youngest daughter and her unexpected NICU admission, thanks to the connection power of the Internet, we were able to quickly contact friends and family to notify them of what had happened.

On Easter morning, our newborn daughter was included on several prayer lists and prayer circles, only two days after her birth. Via phone calls and e-mail messages we tapped into the healing powers to create a circle of positive thoughts and energies from friends and family around the United States and around the world. We asked everyone to hold our daughter in their thoughts, to keep positive thoughts and prayers to mentally aid in her healing process and strengthen the Circle of Healing around her.

I truly believe that having so many people hold our daughter in their hearts, minds and souls, mentally aided in her healing process. We were blessed with the outcome. The Circle of Healing we created for her helped keep her safe and protected until she was strong enough to be discharged from the hospital.

Continuing the Circle of Healing
Rev. Schwing (see prior post) was the start of the Circle of Healing that we created starting on Easter Sunday Morning for my youngest daughter Kristiina while she was in the NICU.

Writing this article, I wondered who would be there if our baby had a health crisis? I don’t know. I trust that the Circle of Healing would be there. Sometimes we are on the giving end, sometimes on the receiving end. That’s what keeps the circle going.

The nurses at UCSF continued Kristiina's Circle of Healing by hanging a blessing that we wrote for her above her isolette. You can read a copy of the blessing that we wrote for her posted on the Journey of Hearts Website as A Healing Blessing. Part of the blessing is included below.

Ironically, Rev. Schwing would experience being a NICU parent several years later with the birth of his second child. The Circle of Healing was there during his challenging time in the NICU.

My Wish for Current NICU Parents
For this Easter season, as I am reminded of our own NICU experiences, I would like to extend the following wish for NICU and ICN parents who currently have their newborns in the hospital.

May you continue to heal

moment by moment
hour by hour
day by day
knowing that so many love you
and wait to welcome you.

May you feel loved.
May you be safe.
May you be protected.
May you be strong.
May you be healed.

May you find healing, in whatever form that healing might take.

Our Easter Gift
This Special Healing Blessing comes as a bonus when you download the Free NICU eBook, For Those Who Hold the Littlest Hands.

More Resources:
Dyer KA. An Easter Healing Blessing in the Intensive Care Nursery NICU Parent Support Blog.
Dyer KA. Circle of Healing - Cloisonné Lapel Pin. The Violet Heart Collection on Squidoo.
Dyer KA. 2002. A Healing Blessing. Journey of Hearts.

Creatively Coping: Write a Prayer Poem

While I was in medical school, residency and clinical practice I wrote and used poetry to help friends, family, patients and colleagues deal with the pain from losses and aid in their grieving.

Poetry Therapy aided my own healing. I then shared my poems with others to help with theirs.

Poetry was an integral part of the healing portion of the Journey of Hearts website established to help anyone grieving a loss. Over the years my healing poems have been used as part of funeral, memorial and remembrance services, published as memorials in newspapers and yearbooks and sent as e-mail condolences.

I was fortunate enough 10 years ago to take a course with Poetry Therapist, John Fox on "Forming Community and Revealing Uniqueness Through Poem-Making" as a course from the National Foundation of Integrative Medicine.

John has gone on to become a leader in the movement of poetry therapy as an expressive art and in particular, the use of poetry in medicine. When I read this exercise on using Prayer Poems, I knew it could be a useful exercise to help NICU Parents cope with the NICU experience.

Write a Prayer Poem
John starts with a definition of prayer and writes that:

Prayer is a way to communicate with the Divine. Prayer [also] is a way to love the spirit of whatever is dear to you. Prayer is a way to let your heart cry out. Prayer is a way to come exactly as you are to the Unknown, the mystery of it all. Bring to your prayer what is raw, what is sublime.

Prayer is a way to welcome a wider vision of life for you.

He then goes on to pose a series of questions, starting with a poetic line, "Prayer is words strung like beads on the thread of your silence."

• Are you aware of the silence that your prayer words join with?
  
• What fertile silence do you long to enter?
  
• How does this kind of silence effect your world?
• How does divine guidance respond to your plea for help?
  
• Who reaches your heart in those times when no one else can?
  

Finally John encourages people to write a prayer of your own.

This exercise of writing a Prayer Poem could be useful ones for NICU Parents struggling with issues of faith and they try to understand the reasons behind why their newborn is in the Intensive Care Unit.

A Special Healing Blessing
Even though John and I were not in touch at the time of my daughter's NICU adventures, I am sure that his exercise of Prayer Poems would have been a helpful way for me to creatively coping during our time in the NICU.

On my own I did created our own version of a Prayer Poem by writing a Healing Blessing. This Special Healing Blessing was placed over our daughters isolette until she was discharged. Copies were gifted to the NICU on her discharge.

Source:
Fox. J. Poetic Medicine Bag: Exercise 3: Prayer Poems. The Institute for Poetic Medicine.

Images: Elena Buetler. Writing. Royalty Free Use.
Kirsti A. Dyer MD, MS. NICU Blessing. Some Rights Reserved.